the story behind junho’s song ‘give it to me’
~4320 w, oneshot. PG
a/n: my crackship. i will wave my hofany flag by my lonesome ;w;
inspired by whenever junho talks about his song.
If I could, I would sample your smile,
and then I would let my heartbeat do the bass line.
We would create the greatest love song of all time.
- Rudy Francisco
“How has your Japan promotions for Genie going along?” He speaks quietly into the speaker of his phone, his back pressed against the mattress of his bed. He finally was able to get some rest after a schedule that just seemed to be never ending. Jinyoung hyung was really whipping them (not literally of course) into shape for their upcoming comeback. He makes sure not to speak too loudly so he wouldn’t wake up Wooyoung, who was snoring quietly on the other side of the room. The only other thing he hears is Tiffany’s voice on the other line of his cellphone.
“They’re good! I’m still up reading over my Japanese. We’re going to perform on TV tomorrow so I gotta prepare for that just in case I talk!” she says cheerfully on the receiver of his cellphone, her voice bright as usual despite the busy schedule she had been updating him about. Even until now, Junho wonders how she still has so much energy but it was refreshing to hear after the day he had today.
“I’m nervous though since my Japanese isn’t all that great”
“Mmm. you’ll do fine.”
“Are you sure?” she asks him with a sheepish chuckle, one that she lets out whenever she feels unsure of herself. “I mean. I was struggling with Korean a few years back...”
“You’re good at it now though because you worked hard.” he assures her calmly, his eyes began to flutter shut, his breathing was as still as the darkness of the night. “If you weren’t, then we wouldn’t have this conversation right now...or much conversations at all.”
“Because I’m a foreigner?”
“No because I’m not that good in english.”
They both laugh quietly and she tells him she feels better now.
“How was your second year anniversary? Sorry I wasn’t able to call you in that time. We were so busy in LA.” she asks him and he processes her question in his mind before answering.
“It was good. I guess just...different.” he replies with a simple answer, thinking back to everything that had happened to the year prior to now. There could’ve been many things he could’ve said but he keeps it to himself as usual. There was a brief silence on the other line.
“There’s no where to go but up, you know.”
“You’ll be fine. You’re strong and I really admire you for that.”
He is still amazed how she always has the right things to say. Junho sometimes wonders if she actually knows that.
They talk to each other whenever they get the chance to since they hardly ever have time to spend together. One was either in a different country or whenever they were in the same country, their schedules were way too packed to fit any time to meet up. So the only communication they had was technology. They both understood that. They both understood keeping their distance and how in trade of the fame and fortune they achieved was time and privacy. Time was just as valuable as fortune and the privacy of a relationship was as valuable as the glamour of fame. But it was a sacrifice to make, a sacrifice they both understood from the start. Junho was already good at separating his career and personal life and Tiffany learned to do the same. No one really knew about their relationship except for their bandmates and they both did their best to keep it that way.
“It’s really quiet here..."
Junho peers up at the screen of his laptop, looking at Tiffany's face on one of the windows. She was sitting in the living room, her blonde hair tied in pigtails and a dark pink sweatshirt draped on her body. She sits in front of her computer, hugging her Totoro plush toy tightly in her arms with a sad look in her eyes. He tries his best to wipe off the expression on her face with his words.
“Isn’t it fun having a dorm to yourself?” He asks as he chews on the instant noodles he had made a few minutes ago, raising his eyebrows upwards. She shakes her head immediately to his question.
“Not if you’re completely injured.” Junho couldn’t help but laugh as she tilted her computer screen so the webcam focused on her pink leg cast.
“Don’t say that so nonchalantly..!” The webcam tilted back up to her face which was now focused on her pretty dark brown eyes glaring at the camera.
“I’m sorry.” He flashes a smile, shrugging a bit lightly as he watches Tiffany slump back into the couch, her shoulders drooping a little. Ah, looks like his humor didn’t work. He let out a soft sigh, placing his bowl of noodles on the table. He then leans in closer to the web camera of his laptop.
“If I could, I would just climb through this computer screen to be where you are.” Junho tells her softly, his eyes unmoved from pixelated image of her face. She seems so close to him but she was of course too far from his reach. Tiffany looks up and nods, staring back at him quietly for a few more seconds.
“Isn’t it sad how the only time I see you nowadays is when you’re behind a screen?” Her slender fingers move towards the camera as if she could reach past it to graze her hand against his cheek; a sad smile crosses her lips when she knows that it’s not possible.
“I miss you, Junho.”
He hears the apparent loneliness in her voice and he feels a stabbing pain in his chest, mentally cursing himself for not being able to be there with her right now.
“I miss you too.”
As time progressed between them, Junho realizes that sometimes it was difficult to keep business and relationships separated.
He would run into Tiffany in music shows, award shows, end of the year performances and huge group concerts throughout the past few months. But even then it was hard for him to just stand next to her (since he told himself to always be ‘professional’ in the public eye). Towards the end of the show, when all the groups were together on stage, confetti would be raining from the sky and sometimes even fireworks would scatter above depending on the event. Each time, he’d look to Tiffany’s direction, amongst the crowd of people, she’d turn over to his direction a few seconds later and smile at him.
All it took was one bright smile of hers and everything around him would just be a blur, leaving her his main focus. Each time it would happen, he would play this scene in his head of him running past the crowds of people and spontaneously kissing her like in those American movies they would watch together (where he would have no clue what they were saying).
But all he could do was smile back in her direction, hoping that she saw in his eyes all the things he wanted to say to her.
Junho finished packing up his stuff after their show in Bangkok. He walks out of the dressing room in the hallway towards the exit. On his way there, a few figures appear from another room and it turned out to be Hyoyeon, Taeyeon, Jessica and Tiffany. They all turn to Junho’s direction, and bow in greeting, Tiffany having a bit of a surprised look on her face. ( He notes the way they have these knowing smiles on their face. )
Hyoyeon and Jessica lightly nudge (or more so nearly push) Tiffany towards him before walking off and Taeyeon points to her eyes and his face with a playful glare over Tiffany’s shoulder before trailing after the other two. Now it was just the two of them left in the hallway, both unprepared for a moment like this.
“Long time no see. Last time we spent time together was when we watched movies two months ago.” he says to her with a grin as his eyes cast upon her features. Her hair was a hazel brown color now and grew past her shoulders. She of course still looks pretty as ever.
“Twilight? Yeah...” Tiffany replies with an embarrassed chuckle. “Sorry I didn’t get the movie with the subtitles.”
“It’s okay. You know I like spending time with you.”
They stare at each other quietly and there was several things Junho wants to say to her, mentally kicking himself for not remembering, but soon enough his thoughts were cut short when he feels the gap between them close. He was now wrapped in her tight embrace, her head buried in his chest. To one person, it may be just a simple hug but to Junho it meant a lot more than that. He encloses his arms around her shoulders, a comforting feeling fills his whole body, lifting any earlier feelings of stress. He forgets about dance practice, photoshoots or any other activities he had in the coming week. He forgets about being an idol.
Automatically, his fingers curl down her chin, tilting it up to look at her. She looks back with this bittersweet expression that he just wanted to wipe away from her face. Junho immediately leans in towards her, his lips centimeters away from her lips.
Until the harsh sound of ringing from his phone bring the two back to reality.
Junho tenses up immediately from the sound as if it were nails scratching against a chalkboard. He feels Tiffany’s grip around his torso loosen up and he glances at her direction to see her looking away from him.
“You should take that...”
He checks the caller id to see it was Jinyoung hyung and right at this moment he wanted to just lunge his phone at the nearby wall.
Instead he answers it.
“Junho-yah. I got a project I wanted to talk to you about. Meet me in my office as soon as you fly back to Korea tomorrow morning.”
He hangs up his phone and looks back at Tiffany. “I...”
“Ah do you have to go now? It’s okay.” she cuts him off, smiling, though the smile wasn’t as bright as before, he could tell.
“I’m going to catch the plane tomorrow morning.” He tells her with a sigh. Tiffany nods in reply and he knows she doing her best not to show her disappointment. “Tiffany, I--”
“Have a safe flight tomorrow okay? Just text me when you get home.” she quickly leans in to give him a kiss on the cheek before turning away, walking towards the exit. And Junho stood there, the warm feeling he felt earlier was replaced with the numbing feeling of guilt.
“Junho. Lee Junho. Yah, Lee Junho!”
“Ow!” Junho snaps from his daze, wincing at the punch Chansung flung at his shoulder. “What was that for?!”
"I’ve been calling your name for one minute and you didn’t respond at all. What’s up with you?” he replies, furrowing his eyebrows. They were in a taxi van on the way to the JYP office building. Junho shakes his head before turning his attention back to the window. “It’s nothing.”
“Liar. You were like this since last night. Always saying ‘it’s nothing, it’s nothing~’” Junsu chimes in next to Chansung as he took off his headphones. “That means it’s something.”
“Dont hide anything from us now!” Wooyoung adds from the backseat, looking up from his cellphone. Nichkhun remains quiet, shooting a worried look towards Junho’s direction. He then feels a nudging at his back, which is from Taecyeon who is sitting behind him.
He was cornered, so there was nothing to do but talk about it.
“It’s...girl problems.” he mumbles in reply and the rest of the members let out a noise in unison.
“With Tiffany?” Junsu asks, raising his eyebrows. “You guys seemed fine. Despite you know...schedule clashes.” The rest of the young men agreed.
“That’s exactly it though. It’s just been really hard. I spent a little time with her last night but even then I was called again for work.” Junho sighs, running a hand through his hair. “I think she was upset about it.”
“Well...that’s how it is right?” Chansung adds with a small shrug. “You’re both idols and it’s a sacrifice. I mean...it applies to all of us.”
“I know but...sometimes I feel like she deserves better. I make it seem like I put work over her and I dont but...it just feels hard to balance the two now.” he states with frown, recalling the expression on her face last night.
“Well the only way you could publicly date or something close to that is to get on We Got Married...like hyung over here!” Wooyoung stated as he nudged Nichkhun who was sitting next to him. The rest all laughed at the comment (except Nichkhun who just shook his head, but a sincere smile was still on his face because they all knew he enjoyed being on the show.)
Before any more discussion, the van arrived at in front of the company building. On their way out, they all tell Junho that everything was going to get better, patting him on the back before stepping out. Taecyeon and Junho were the last to step out of the van.
“She likes romantic gestures.”
Junho looks up at the older one, blinking a bit at the sudden comment that came from him.
“Fany. Fany likes romantic stuff. Whether its small or over the top. She’s a hopeless romantic.” Taecyeon tells him casually, with a small shrug. “Back when we were in training, she used to gush to me about what she would like a guy to do for her or what she would do for him. In exchange to listening to her blabbering, I’d ask her to hook me up on a date with Yuri.” He chuckles a bit at the memories before stepping inside of the building.
“You actually want me to write a song? My own song? For the next album??” Junho questions in shock to Jinyoung as they sat in the recording studio.
“Why not? I remember you saying you had an interest in composing.” Jinyoung replies with a smile, as he turns away from the recording devices to look at Junho. “You’re free to use the equipment here. Make sure to have it finished by the end of this month.”
“You got it, hyung!”
Junho walks out of the studio with a huge smile on his face. This is exactly what he wanted to do ever since he had debuted as an artist; to have an opportunity to create his own music. The only issue is that he didn't know what kind of song to write. What it going to be an upbeat song? A ballad? He really had a lot think about.
He felt his cellphone buzz from his pocket, and pulls it out, reading a text message he received from Tiffany.
“I’m glad you’re okay. Dont overwork yourself now.”
He frowns to himself, remembering his previous predicament.
“Romantic gestures, romantic gestures, what am I going to do?” He paces around his room, thinking about all the things he could do for Tiffany.
“I could...send her flowers. No that’s cliche. Chocolate? I did that before. Stuffed animals? Ah this isn’t white day...why am I so bad at this?” Junho groans as he slumps on his bed, scratching his temple. Before he continued to brainstorm, his phone rings to the chorus of Gee and he answers it quickly.
“For the last time you don’t need to apologize. Work is work.”
“I know. I just...” Again, there was the lack of words. He wants to say the right things to her like the way she manages to whenever he feels down, but he honestly had nothing but an ‘I’m sorry’.
“I’m fine.” Even in the tone of her voice, he knew something was off.
“Are you sure?”
“I am. Don’t worry about me.”
Seconds pass before another word is spoken.
“I’m not a burden to you, am I?”
He feels his heart break at the question, shocked that she would even have those thoughts.
“What? Of course not. Don’t think like that.”
“Okay.” She doesn’t sound too convinced.
“I’m going to sleep now...” She sounds so far away now, farther than she’s ever been before. And he lets her go, wishing her a goodnight, the phone feeling heavy against his ear before he hangs up. A few seconds later, his phone beeps and he checks it, reading a text message.
‘I wish we could just travel together one day. Just you and me. Publicly hold hands somewhere without a care in the world. This is unlikely huh?’
' It’s not. One day soon.’ he types up a reply before he lays on his bed, wondering if he is the one that’s the burden of this relationship.
“Wow. So pretty. The water is so pretty today!” Tiffany exclaims out loud, throwing her arms out standing infront of a vast lake. She turns back to him in a white summer dress and a sun hat, the wind blowing in her dark brown hair; the image leaves Junho awestruck. But this time, he didn’t care about what other people thought, his image or any worries of work. All he cares about is her.
He runs over to her to grab her in his arms to spin her around, and she laughs, her laughter was like a sweet melody to his ears.
They spend the morning holding hands as they walk along the shore, taking their sweet time in each step. In the afternoon, they go grocery shopping and head back to an lake house to cook hamburgers. (Or at least he attempts to, she helps him along the way.) And instead of eating it inside, they bring it outside for a picnic on top of a green hill near the lake, surrounding them were all these colorful flowers. After eating, they lay against the blanket beneath them, watching as the sun casting downwards, the sky mixed with the warm colors of red, orange and purple.
Her head was pressed against his chest, as her arms were wrapped around his waist. One of his arms draped around her shoulders, his other hand reaches over to brush any hair away from her eyes. She looks up at him and smiles, the rays of the sunset highlighting the features of her face, and he feels his heart melting. Junho closes his eyes, leaning in to press his lips against hers which were soft against his touch. And she kisses him back, a kiss that seemed to last forever.
‘I love you’ he hears her whisper.
Junho opens his eyes, finding himself in his dormitory bed. He rubs his lips, blinking in awe of the previous images.
He jumps out of bed and sits at his desk, grabbing a pen and paper.
He starts to write.
It was more than a month later since then. They had released their full album the other day and Junho was really proud of it, especially with song that he published. Now there was only one person he wanted to share the news with.
Seohyun opens the door first, blinking in surprise at the figure in front of her. Junho bows in reply before flashing a small smile at her.
“Hello Seohyun-ssi. I know I’m not suppose to be inside here but I was wondering if Fany is here today? I...have something to give her.”
She nods quietly, a small smile crosses her lips. “She’s here and you can come in~ It’s just the two of us here.” A light chuckle escapes her lips as she gestures Junho to step inside before moving towards Tiffany’s bedroom door.
“Unnie~ You have a visitor.” she calls out to the door, knocking on it lightly before glancing at Junho’s direction as he made his way over to Seohyun’s side.
The door opens a few seconds after Seohyun knocked on her door. Tiffany pops out her head, rubbing her half-opened eyes, her hair in a messy bun. (Junho finding the image really adorable.)
“A visitor?” she asks sleepily but soon her eyes widen immediately when her gaze turns to Junho's direction. “Ah hold on!” she exclaims as she slams the door shut and Seohyun lets out a small giggle.
“Unnie wants to look her best around you, I think.”
“I heard that!”
Junho couldn’t help but let out a chuckle himself.
After a few minutes of Tiffany fixing herself up, he was now in her room, sitting on her bed. Tiffany’s hair was now neatly brushed and she put on a little bit of eyeliner on her eyes. Junho still had an amused smile plastered on his face.
“I’ve seen you without makeup before, you know”
“Yeah but that’s over webcam. Not in person.” she replies with a sigh as glances at her reflection in her mirror before turning to him. “I’m surprised you’re here...”
“Schedule finished early. I thought I’d drop by to give you something. In person. Since I know you’ll be flying out soon back to Japan” His eyes drop to her bags which were already packed up. He looks back up to Tiffany, who has a curious expression as she moves to sit next to him.
“What is it?”
Junho reaches for his pocket and pulls out their new album, handing it to her. “Tada~”
“Oh! Thank you.” she smiles a little at him, reaching over to take it from his hands. Junho watches as she opens the CD and pulls out the booklet, skimming through the pages
“I really like your concept.” she comments as she’s turning the page. Tiffany pauses at the tracklist page where Junho had wrote his message to her; this one was a little lengthier than the previous messages he wrote to her.
I may have not been the most romantic guy to you these past few months. Sometimes it has been hard to even see your face and if that has caused you any pain, I greatly apologize . There’s so many places I want to go with you, so many times I wished to hug you or hold your hand in public, not caring if there would be paparazzi or fantaken shots of us on the front page of the news the next day. And yet, I cant. But never think that you are ever a burden to me. You’ve brightened up my life in more ways than one and just the thought of you helps me continue on my day.
Unlike you, I am unable to say the right things sometimes to make you feel better or cure any loneliness you feel. But with that, I give you something that you can listen to whenever words fail me, something that you can always take with you wherever you go. Whenever you feel lonely or sad, please listen to this song. It conveys everything I feel.
She glances up at the song title circled in red before looking at him, eyes widening in surprise.
“You wrote a song?”
“Rewrote it 52 times” he admits, scratching the back of his neck. He watches her take out the CD from the case, walking over to place it in her stereo and skipping to the 3rd track before sitting down next to him. The melody began to fill up her room, and somehow to Junho it sounds a lot different when the person you wrote a song for is there with you. Usually, he’d be incredibly embarrassed over stuff like this but he didn’t hide this time. He stayed quiet as his eyes focused on her as she listened to the lyrics.
Despite the composed expression he had on the outside, he felt his heart stuttering rapidly in his chest. There is a look of concentration in Tiffany’s eyes as she listens to the words, the melody, the song that Junho spent hours and hours writing, rewriting, producing until it sounded perfect. And now he hopes she would think the same.
The song had came to an end (but his heart couldn’t stop pounding against his chest) and Junho let out a sigh as if that were going to help calm his nerves. He turns back to her direction only to see her starting to wipe tears from her eyes.
“I..I’m sorry. I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to make you cry. I--”
His blabbering cuts off from the soft feeling of her lips pressed onto his own and her arms wrapping around his neck. She pulls away from him, laughing softly.
“Babo. I’m crying because I’m touched” She said as she reached to wipe her eyes again. He blinks in surprise, feeling suddenly dumb but also relieved.
“So you like it?” He asks her with sheepish grin as he reaches over to wipe any remaining teardrops from the corner of her eyes.
“I love it. I love it so much.” she replies to him cheerfully as she grins back at him. He always seems to forget how stunning those smiles of hers were.
“I’m glad” he mumbles in reply, feeling his cheeks warm up from embarrassment and this unexplainable joy that was swelling up in his chest. He leans in to kiss her again, and she kisses him back, her fingers gently grazing the side of his cheek.
“I love you” he whispers suddenly against her lips. Those three words, words he wanted to tell her in person, words that he took out and wrote it several times on a piece of paper and put it in a song for all to hear but for only her to know. His gaze met with her pretty brown eyes and a soft smile that would stay forever engrained in his memory.
“I love you too.”